I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.

The action icon is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger portrays a undercover cop who masquerades as a elementary educator to catch a killer. During the story, the investigation plot serves as a loose framework for Arnold to share adorable moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous involves a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and declares the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

That iconic child was brought to life by youth performer Miko Hughes. Beyond this role featured a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films on the horizon. Furthermore, he is a regular on fan conventions. He recently recalled his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was pleasant, which I guess stands to reason. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd show his strength and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was like an iPhone. This was the coolest device, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your days on set as being positive?

You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would hand me their devices to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

That Famous Quote

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it came about, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.